"Charlie, stay away from those things. They're reindeer, you don't know where they've been. They all look like they've got key lime disease" ~ The Santa Clause, 1994.


The Tragedy of Errors

Alas poor Santa, I knew ye well,
Upon mine rooftop thou hast trippeth and fell.
I proddeth thine corpse for nigh an hour,
But soon it stinketh – decayed and sour.

I bury thee hastily ‘neath mine green, green lawn,
And sold thine reindeer at the old shoppe ‘Ye Pawn.’
But soon to mine door, thy elves shall come!
To which I shall feign to be deaf and dumb.

Written by Marsh Drylie, Christmas 2006, under the influence of Hamlet.


Heidi and her good friend, Fred. "I don't know what I would do without him", Heidi says, "He is my knight in shining armor".

Fred could not be reached for comment.