"Next to me in the blackness lay my oiled blue steel beauty. The greatest Christmas gift I had ever received, or would ever receive. Gradually, I drifted off to sleep, pringing ducks on the wing and getting off spectacular hip shots" ~ A Christmas Story, 1983.


Dear Santa:

Yes, I have been naughty
And sometimes fairly bad;
Putting frogs into my sister's bed
Which made her rather mad.

I have broken grandma's glasses
While putting them on the cat;
Shattered the window across the street
With a baseball and bat.

Of my Latin I'm sorely ashamed
My algebra has take a dive;
Some nights my homework stays unfinished,
I'd rather be playing Ace Combat 5.

I've set fire to the kitchen curtains
Crashed my mom's hard drive;
Dumped soap suds into the swimming pool
I'm lucky I'm still alive.

All my sins I do confess
I've told you all I've done;
Please forgive these dastardly deeds
I regret each and every one.

Dear Santa, Sir, I promise
Next year, you'll see a new me;
If you leave me a paintball gun,
A pony and a big screen TV.

This poem was written by Marsh during the Christmas season, 2003. He failed Latin, but passed Algebra.

He still doesn't have a pony.