"I like Santa. Let's face it, most of us are scoffers. But moments before zero hour, it did not pay to take chances" A Christmas Story, 1983.
‘Twas the Invasion Before Christmas
By Marsh Drylie
'Twas the night before Christmas, and high o’er the town
The aliens were scheming to take Santa down.
“It’s been too long” the alien said.
“He’s foiled all our plans, I want him quite dead”
“Commander,” said another, “the elf is not mortal”
“We must fling him into the sun or toss him into a portal”
“No sergeant, that will not do!”
“It has to be clever - our little coup!”
“Sir, I have info I’d like to impart,
from reliable sources…please, let me start.”
So the diminutive Martian gave way his plan
To catch the corpulent, Jolly red man.
Hence hung their stockings by the chimney with care
In hopes their quarry soon would be there.
Pastries with poison they did defile
Cyanide-laced milk to lure and beguile.
Sure enough, at twelve ‘o’ clock’s chime
That crimson devil toddled in, right on time.
They opened fire, one, two, three!
No way possible that gnome could still be.
Low and behold, the old imp did not fall
He instead filled each stocking, the large and the small.
Shock---disbelief filled the alien faces
When Nick devoured the vittles leaving no traces.
“Now boys, for shame, you have all been quite evil
Conspiring against me, causing much upheaval.
But it doesn’t work, I’ve been ‘round the block
Just don’t expect something nice in your sock.”
Looking them over and making a frown
He gave one a slap and then spun around.
Putting a finger aside his red snoot
Straight up the chimney went that old coot.
He leapt to his ride and cracked his long whip,
And in a few moments he was just a mere blip.
The aliens boarded amid flashing light
“Sir there he is…we’ve got him in sight.”
Santa never looked back, this tubby red man,
As he called to his reindeer and lifted his hand.
But they heard him exclaim as he rode out of sight,
“Merry Christmas to all and to all a good flight”
‘Twas the Invasion Before Christmas
By Marsh Drylie
'Twas the night before Christmas, and high o’er the town
The aliens were scheming to take Santa down.
“It’s been too long” the alien said.
“He’s foiled all our plans, I want him quite dead”
“Commander,” said another, “the elf is not mortal”
“We must fling him into the sun or toss him into a portal”
“No sergeant, that will not do!”
“It has to be clever - our little coup!”
“Sir, I have info I’d like to impart,
from reliable sources…please, let me start.”
So the diminutive Martian gave way his plan
To catch the corpulent, Jolly red man.
Hence hung their stockings by the chimney with care
In hopes their quarry soon would be there.
Pastries with poison they did defile
Cyanide-laced milk to lure and beguile.
Sure enough, at twelve ‘o’ clock’s chime
That crimson devil toddled in, right on time.
They opened fire, one, two, three!
No way possible that gnome could still be.
Low and behold, the old imp did not fall
He instead filled each stocking, the large and the small.
Shock---disbelief filled the alien faces
When Nick devoured the vittles leaving no traces.
“Now boys, for shame, you have all been quite evil
Conspiring against me, causing much upheaval.
But it doesn’t work, I’ve been ‘round the block
Just don’t expect something nice in your sock.”
Looking them over and making a frown
He gave one a slap and then spun around.
Putting a finger aside his red snoot
Straight up the chimney went that old coot.
He leapt to his ride and cracked his long whip,
And in a few moments he was just a mere blip.
The aliens boarded amid flashing light
“Sir there he is…we’ve got him in sight.”
Santa never looked back, this tubby red man,
As he called to his reindeer and lifted his hand.
But they heard him exclaim as he rode out of sight,
“Merry Christmas to all and to all a good flight”
Christmas 2005, this poem placed in a poetry contest.
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